how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
