As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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