So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
