not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
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IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
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It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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