doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
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