Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize