im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
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sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
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I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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