I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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