just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
