Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
