Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
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HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
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to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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