We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
