Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
