whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I wish i was in the wii world.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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