Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
