I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
