When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
