You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
