I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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