There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
