I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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