try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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