let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
did i walk over a car last night?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
