For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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