Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
