I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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