I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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