Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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