i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
