Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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