She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
