quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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