Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just fell off a train. Bad.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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