There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
