cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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