she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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