I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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