I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize