I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
