she is the kim kardashian of front butts
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
