pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
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NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
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I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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