everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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