i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
