So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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