Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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