I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
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And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
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Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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