he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it was like eating out sand paper
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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