Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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