the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
