No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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