Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Every concussion has its silver lining
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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