Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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