I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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