NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
