they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
