I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
