I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Damn victory sex feels great
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize