How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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