that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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