Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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