Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
