Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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