k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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